Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Protesting Irrelevance

Okay, say you don't get something you want in life. It happens to all of us. What do you do?

A) Tough it out and make the most of it?
B) Take on the issue and address the people/things involved directly?
C) Throw the adult version of a childlike tantrum...kicking, screaming, holding your breath, and making an all-around buffoon of yourself?

Well if you selected "C"...congratulations, we're about to make fun of you! Uhh, the "A" and "B" people can still read too.

Lemme ask you all something...have you ever passed by an ongoing protest and thought to yourself, "Now THOSE people have a valid point!" I'm guessing no. I'm guessing your thoughts are closer to "What's with all the vagrants suddenly organizing to write trying-too-hard-to-be-clever signs and chanting in unison....oh, and damn, they smell." Well, allow us to let you in on a little something...they're not vagrants, they're misguided idealists who think they're making a difference in the world (beyond the B.O.). Look, we're not making fun of the points of view, per se, just the way it's carried out. You certainly have a right to protest a church or an abortion clinic (although perhaps you should exercise some fuckin discretion or common sense occasionally), but you're not doing your cause any favors by holding your public whinefests.

You know how sometimes you go to a restaurant and there's some screaming kid one table over who basically just yelling incoherently and making a mess? Protesters, that's you. Yes, everyone notices you, because...well, they have to. But no one actually pays attention to your specific plight. Just like the little bastard screaming in the diner, we only want you to shut up. Not because we don't necessarily care about your cause...but because your method is off-putting and juvenile. Go back to your headquarters, put your thoughts together coherently, and then express them calmly in a forum other than a friggin street corner...and we'll listen. Until then, accept your assignment as the village idiots.


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