Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Allow me to introduce ourselves to.......ourselves

Ya ever wonder what it would be like to get in on something early, before it's all the rage? Just think about it...there had to be someone who was the very first person to enjoy a Coke...watch The Godfather...or hear those wildly defiant chords of Spacehog taking over our airwaves. All great moments in history, sure...but Savage Kingdom is all that PLUS a ton of fart jokes.

But anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. I'll keep it real for a second (or whatever the human translation of that poorly-thought-out saying is). We're the Savage Brothers, a mostly unknown phenomenon. We like food, bodily functions (LOOOOVE bodily functions, some more than others), movies, music, sarcasm, making lists, quoting stuff randomly, occasionally waxing philosophical, other unspecified crap, and most of all, laughing at other people's expense. We'll appeal to the beer drinker, the wine drinker, the scotch drinker, the malt liquor dranker, and even occasionally the smirnoff drinker (pfftt you people). There's 2 of us...and yes, we're actual fuckin brothers. We're both very similar and very different. But at the end of the day, the Savage blood coarses through our veins with the same tenacity as a million fatties tryin to squeeze onto a pizza-scented escalator.

Don't get us wrong...just when you think we're all one-dimensional, we'll flip that shit on you and make a mad dash at poetic brilliance. We're a contradiction. Arrogant but self-effacing. Brilliant but simple. Aware but oblivious. Insensitive but empathetic. Childish but...well, actually, still childish. We shouldn't exist...but we do. There's no method to the madness...we're not even sure where this is going, but we sure as hell know it's time for the world to know Savagery. We're aware of the overabundance of trite bullshit flooding the endless pages of the internet, filled with words like "epic," "fail," "tolerance," etc., and we share the subtle yet growing disdain you have for it. If we thought we would be just another brick in the internet wall, we wouldn't be doing this. Setting the bar a little high? Probably. Realistic though? Goddamn right. Now, if this doesn't sound like your brand of vodka...read as much as you like and have a safe journey, no hard feelings. Otherwise, come with us.

Or, just go home and get your fuckin shinebox.

Like I said...a contradiction.

Try it, you'll like it.

From Webster's dictionary:
-a brutal person
-a rude or unmannerly person
-not domesticated or under human control
-lacking the restraints normal to civilized human beings
-wild, uncultivated
-boorish, rude


Post a Comment