late 1200s: get interested in mother's clothes
late 1200s: begin playing with dolls
late 1200s: get boner while watching dad's friends play with their swords
late 1200s: meet Edward The Longshanks' son the prince (Edward II)
circa 1300: leer at prince on the latrine...a LOT...trying to see if prince was also a "longshanks"
circa 1300: consummate relationship with prince during fecal-oriented massage session
circa 1300: be forced (willingly) to offer used asshole up to prince whenever he desires
circa 1300: wear dresses with prince like a nancy boy
circa 1300: hear devastating news that Longshanks is setting up prince's marriage to hot woman
circa 1300: stare at prince wantingly during wedding to hot woman, earning disdain of Longshanks
circa 1300: attempt to keep prince away from hot woman by continually offering dirty butt to prince
circa 1300: constantly leer at prince from behind corners
circa 1300: get appointed prince's High Counselor (a meaningless title since prince has no authority whatsoever)
circa 1300: wonder out loud "what beast could do such a thing" (strike 1)
circa 1300: make mistake of offering advice to Longshanks, as though he needed it (strike 2)
circa 1300: apparently insult Longshanks further by saying how he (someone who has not left the confines and safety of wearing dresses in the castle) is skilled in the arts of war and military tactics (strike 3)
circa 1300: comically get thrown out of window by Longshanks, effectively ending homoaffair with prince
circa 1300: come back as spirt and leer at prince from around corners some more
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