Saturday, February 26, 2011

SavageSpeak: Travolta

Warning: We apologize for the copious amount of male skin in the following post. It's a necessary evil for the purposes of driving home our point. If you're into that sort of're welcome.

Age is a wondrous thing. Almost everyone puts on a few pounds. Only a select few have a full-on Travolta. Allow us to explain. When a male has a "Travolta," they go from a thin-framed body type to a husky, overweight mess, completely passing over "just being out of shape" in the process. The beauty of this term is that it can be a noun or a verb. "Oh, he had a Travolta!" "Look, that gentleman Travolta'd!" If you haven't guessed by now, the term is derived from actor John Travolta. Once upon a time, he was a wiry young guy with very little body fat (see below left). Then, something happened. It's body exploded into the hogbeast you see below on the right:

If you're still unclear on exactly what a Travolta looks like (pfftt, idiot), I present you with a couple of other examples:

Now, sometimes simply having a Travolta isn't enough. Sometimes, one goes from thin to gotta-cut-a-hole-in-the-wall-and-forklift-your-ass-out fat. We introduce you to the incredibly rare..."Brando:"

Oh, and for the ain't gettin off that easy. We got terms for you too (male equivalent in parentheses):

Remini (Travolta)
Liz Taylor (Brando)
Kirstie Alley (Being a Literal Pig)

Feel free to integrate these SavageSpeak terms into your everyday conversations. You can sound clever while not compromising your natural inclination to poke fun at others. Just make sure you get it in never know who it'll happen to next...


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