Saturday Retro: Fabio Vs. Bird

Nobody actually likes Fabio, right? I know Savages don't. But I'm assuming there are "people" out there that actually get off on his blonde mane, meathead vibe and dumb-as-a-truck persona? Eh, it doesn't matter. You know what DOES matter though? This:

I mean, really, could being hit in the face by a bird while in the front seat of a roller coaster (during media day at a theme park to promote said roller coaster's opening) happen to a funnier person? The guy's a fucking human cartoon. I understand that there's a lot of women (and men) out there who have rubbed one out while squatting over one of his romance novel covers. But I also understand that there's a lot of men (and women) out there who wanted to see him hit in the face with a bird while riding a roller coaster. Well...that happened.

But this begs the question. Who ELSE would Savages like to see hit in the face with a bird while riding a roller coaster? Funny you should ask. For starters: Fred & Ben Savage. Ashton Kutcher. Queen Latifah. The entire cast of The View. Kevin Youkilis. Fergie. Phoebe from Friends. Tyra Banks. The kid from Jerry Maguire. The woman in those Progressive commercials. Celine Dion. The woman in those Progressive commercials for a second time. Those Jonas buttpirates. Most weather guys. That Michael Cera woman. People who stop short in hallways. And last but certainly not least, Janet Reno. I don't like him.

Who else?