Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Mallrats Perspective: Willam

1:00 AM:  Fall asleep after playing 6 hour marathon of Wolfenstein

1:30 AM:  Wake up and eat 3 orders of cheese fries...spill some on shirt

1:31 AM:  Fall back into fatsleep and dream about not being able to see sailboat in 3D picture at mall

9:00:         Roll out of bed and take a massive steaming nuke on the lawn...don't shower...get excited about big day planned staring at 3D picture

9:30:         Show up at mall with bag lunch (which is a mysteriously small bag considering...ya know)...wear same shirt as night before

10:00:       Eat more cheese fries...spill more on shirt

10:10:       Get mad at Brodie and T.S. for interrupting...give them some righteous information on game show stage

11:00:       Stare at 3D picture...urinate pants

11:30:       Get irritated that children want to look at picture too...laugh at and ridicule small child for saying they saw a schooner...get put in place by 7 year old...feel dumb...ruin Easter for all children within earshot by giving up the gig on the Easter Bunny

12:00:        Eat entire lunch in one disgusting inhalation, including bag

12:01-2:30:  Alternate between staring at 3D picture and sleepfarting through the afternoon

2:35:          See Brenda from 90210...be called a dick...wonder why

3:10:          Get uber-frustrated at 3D picture, kick stage, and unknowingly play major role in ruining gameshow...leave mall, stopping at the cookie stand (not in the food court) on the way out

3:30:          Get home and take a massive steaming nuke on the lawn

4:00:          Eat 12 beef-n-cheddars

4:05:          Look up meaning of schooner...feel dumb again

4:05-12:00:  Play 8 hours of Wolfenstein

12:00:        Pass out face down on floor in same dirty shirt

All Night:    Dream of alleged sailboat in 3D picture and get pissed off in sleep


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